in which woonsocket remembers the crucial details

i've been on the d.l. for a few weeks and am back with some selected thoughts and rants.

my favorite rhode islander and i met up for tapas the other night @ "n". (where's that spanish tilde when you need it?)

we're chatting about a business excursion when she queries, "isn't that the guy whose lap you were all up on?"

"somebody's lap? who are you talking about?" say i.

"ah, i don't know. don't you remember telling me that story? you were on a business trip -- i thought this was recent. and you were all up in that guy's lap," said she.

(long pause.)

"well, i'm gonna have to think on that one for a minute........ i'm gonna think on it!! can you believe i just said that? (cackling outrageously) like it's *totally* possible this actually happened and i just gotta figure out who's lap i was perching on! oh, that's too much!" said yours truly.

"yeah, right? i know it was something you did on a business trip," she offered.

"shit, who the hell was this? i'm really wracking my brain........are you talking about that drama boy i went to puerto rico with? that wasn't biz, but i worked with him," i pressed on.

"no. no, it wasn't that. i'm sure this was a work trip," she said.

(she scratches her chin thoughtfully.) "jeez, who the hell was i creepin' on? was i creepin'? can you remember? this is cracking me up, yet disturbing me slightly as well."

we never came to any conclusions at the n, but as i was typing that last line, it suddenly occurred to me who she was talking about!

i was in d.c. on my final advertising foray, working a trade show for a client at my agency. we'd hired some "survivor" folks to hang in their booth and work a dinner for their key accounts. a limo was sent to pick up our entourage at da hote and there was scant room for any kind of seating, so i found myself gingerly placing my buttocks on the lap of my main player. and.......and, well, i know why my friend is remembering this incident (such that she could remember it). this man was on the extra hefty side, i ain't judgin', but he was and being squashed in to his lap put me a smidget too close to some nether-regions i had no business encountering. sighing relief, i can say, no, i was not creepin' on any biz associate past. i know he wasn't trying to get all up on my booty, but it gave me the wigs all the same.

quite a memory old Woonsocket has.