dear diary, i lost a gig and it's all your fault!

Ying strolls into the common area of the office yesterday and sighs, "well, this wasn't a call i was thrilled about taking." he went on to explain that he'd booked one of our solo performers (and oh, what solos he apparantly did perform!!) at some little private country club-ish joint for a few nights in their lounge. he did a fine job and all was well after the first show. that is, until this performer left a journal behind at the venue. a journal with a pen stuck inside, holding the page where he'd just let out a tirade about how much he hated these types of clubs and performing at them, what a drag it was to have to drive way the fuck out to the suburban hinterland, on and on. so, i'm enjoying Ying's discomfort greatly as he's relaying how embarassing this was to have to back-peddle with this buyer, trying to difuse this talent's faux pax after he'd been paid for performing there. i'm sure nothing prepared him to hear that not only was there this little foaming at the mouth about the gig he'd just done, but as the buyer looked further through the pages, old boy was documenting all kinds of events in his life. lots of other entries bad-mouthing gigs and plenty of detail of his daily comings and goings. especially the commmmmings! of course, getting this information out of Ying was a hoot, as he's visibly squirming in front of our primarily female admin staff, thinking of a way to say that the journal covered this guy's herky jerky habits. he's hemming around and i shriek, "did it go into his booty scrumpin' experiences? did it?!?" booty scrumpin' is Ying's most favored of all my invented words and he was doubled over laughing about this until he straightened up and said, the buyer actually said there were multiple entries describing this man's masturbating sessions in elicit detail! we all fell out about that one. why on earth would you drag that book around to your money-making endeavors? why?? knowing all the dirt it could throw in your face? the buyer told Ying that his staff found the performer "a little disturbing" and no longer felt comfortable having him there, ala the remaining gigs were cancelled.

a few other fun diaries...







keep 'em near and dear to you!