the last lost weekend

was it the winterish winds bringing black cloud moods to the end of my april that brought on a desire to step up and get out of my funk? a moment of clarity saying enough is enough, i shall no longer allow the bleakness of the season to rule my days. whatever the case, i am fully committing to taking control of my existance again from the impending feeling of numbness that keeps rearing its head. having much to accomplish and not quite the time needed to keep up, i absolutely *must* get a grip on my lazy inhabiting factors and keep them at bay. i did next to nothing this weekend beyond some loads of laundry and a bit of housecleaning. not nearly what the time available warranted. and surely not enough.

is it really that hard to get up an hour or so early to do some much needed exercise? i must admit, if i weren't mahing out every single night, this would not be difficult. time to trim back on that habit. it's obviously keeping me down in some ways, and with so much consumption, it's taking forever to show any affect. i need a break, some redirection, some energy, some stamina. it's all there, just waiting to be utilized. i just have to do it.