this is what it means to be irish to americans?

yesterday, i had the following chat with YinBoss through the speaker phones in our offices:

YinBoss: Agent99, um, yeah. pick up line 2, there's ....um... there's this event planner i work with and (heh heh) she wants some leprachauns this weekend. (heh heh)

Agent99: where the fuck am i supposed to find those?

YB: call up QuirkyCostumedDwarfTroupe. they'll help you out.

{the really scary thing is that in the last two weeks, i've had to call QuirkyCostumedDwarfTroupe for three, count em, three separate potential bookings. suddenly, i am the queen of all things kiddie, bridezilla and celebrity impersonator.}

i pick up line 2.

A99: hi, this is Agent99. YinBoss tells me you're looking for some leprachauns, is that right?

EventPlanner: yeah......how much are they?

A99: well, what are you using them for? it's a private party, right?

EP: .....yeah.....

A99: so you probably want them for some walkaround, right?

EP: ........................what do you mean?

A99: you want to hire them to stroll around your party entertaining your guests, shake hands with them, whatnot?

EP: yeah......i guess....i mean, my boss just called me up and said, "hey, do you think you could get some leprachauns for that party of mine on saturday?", so, i mean, i guess that's what he'd want. is that what the leprachauns normally do?

A99: (out of my mouth i hear myself say): oh yeah, i mean they'll take pictures with the guests if people want that, do a few little jigs, just hang out. you know.

{i have no idea if any of the above is true. i have no idea if there are in fact any of these guys around for said performances. but i'm going to find out.}

i tell her i'll call back after i talk to the manager of the QCDT. yep, he's got some leprachauns available, but they're booked pretty heavily all day, so they couldn't get to this party til 10 p.m. he might be able to send a solo guy instead of the normal pack of 'chauns to work with their schedule, though. EventPlanner seems excited that some small green imps will be available for her boss' soiree.

EP: you know, whatever you need for the contract, i mean, food & drinks, we'll totally hook them up.. i mean, my boss used to be an actor, so he'll know how to treat these leprachauns.

YinBoss: Agent99, don't waste alot of time on this! just get them connected and help make it happen! it's a great way to pad your money for the month! look how easy that was!

price of your very own lucky irish mascot? single performer, $375 first hour, $200 for each subsequent hour.

happy st. patrick's day, to the irish and their wannabes everywhere.