an additional $37.50? that's baffling!

in my line of work, i come across some cheap fuckers. now, the ones i deem with that titleage get the derogatory name when i know they have the money to spend on an act and are being an asshat trying to work down the price to the bare bones. as a performer myself, i have much respect for the artists i represent and take it as a personal responsibility to ensure the gigs i procure for them are to their liking, both in compensation and the essence of the experience itself.

so, i've been working with a woman at a little grade school on the west coast. she has zero budget for performances, but really wants a guy who does a show for younger audiences. i've been wrangling around dates and prices with her and due to me having the audacity as an agent to ask if there was the *possibility* of getting a tiny bit of extra money for another night of hotel, i got this awesome reply. if i'd known less than $40 could get someone so riled up, i'd have been using this power for a long time.

my original e-mail:

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Hi PoorSchoolLady,

Is it possible for your shows to be on suchaday and consecutive suchaday? InsertPerformer'sNameHere is looking at flight options and doing a night show on the suchaday means he’ll have to stay another night in YourWesternState. Since he’ll need to be in the night before to do the morning shows, is there any chance that one of the other schools could have their evening performance then and we’d do the other 3 during the day of suchaday? I know they had certain schedules for programming, so this may not be possible. If we can’t accommodate that, would it be possible to add in another $150 to take care of InsertPerformer'sNameHere's extra night stay?

He’s also wondering if it’s okay for him to sell books after his shows?

Please advise and we’ll get your booking moving quickly.

Thanks!
Agent99
My Booking Agency

and i got in reply:

Hi Agent99:

To be honest, I’m disappointed in the added cost recommendation. I worked really hard at coming up with a number of other schools just so we could have InsertPerformer'sNameHere at our school (there’s no way we could afford $2,000…and selling this concept to 3 schools who don’t know him…as we don’t…took some major connections).

Another $150 is not in the works. With that said, I’m happy to put him up at my own home. We have two empty bedrooms now that my kids are in college. He would have his own bath. We could also put him up at one of the schools since two of the schools are boarding programs.

I will not confirm the dates until I know for sure that the price will be kept at $2,000. Adding another $150 seems to be a convenience for his schedule. I’m not trying to be critical, but this seems a bit out of line. Of course anyone who offers 4 shows in one day would have to assume 2 nights of hotels or 2 nights of accommodations rather than adding to the cost to the school. I assume this isn’t a foreign concept to a person who travels extensively. I’m a bit baffled by this suggestion.

Selling his wares in conjunction with the program will certainly cover his accommodation expenses. I will recommend that the schools give him this option if everything else works out. Again, I hate to be reinforcing this fact, but I have asked many administration friends to support this cause as a favor. I trust you understand that this is not normally done in our area. At least 7 schools have said no to my request because they simply have no budget…let alone $500 for a 45 minute show. I’m doing the best I can, but I certainly can’t go back and add additional costs for his hotel accommodations.

I don’t mean to sound harsh. I was caught a bit off guard but we are very excited and hopeful that this will work out. I will continue to try to make this happen.

PoorSchoolLady


added to Agent99's resume skills: able to baffle potential clients with any small request!